“You can’t always get what you want.” ~ The Philosophers Jagger and Richards
5) You have to A-S-K in order to G-E-T
Cliche’? Sure? Obvious? Yes. It’s still true, nonetheless. You will accomplish 0% of the goals you don’t try for. The very key is in the asking. On the street, you earn your right to be heard. Once that right is earned, what do you say? Are you preaching? Promoting? Asking for cash? It all comes down to making your desire known. A lot of performing artists look down on the street performer, even those that started out on the street. I’ve heard former street performers demean the street theater, once they’ve ‘made it’. I’ve had more than one agent advise me that I shouldn’t discuss my street performance (especially when I’m out there in the present day) because it can diminish my working credibility. How can I possibly ask for fees in the thousands of dollars when I’m out hustling for fives and tens on the street? I submit that the negotiation is the same, the only difference is the perception, and what I’m willing to ask for. Here’s a secret to my street brethren: Do you know what brings bigger tips? A bigger hat. When your receptacle is large it sends a signal that a small hat just won’t hold what you are expecting. When I pitch, I don’t mention ones – I always ask for fives, tens and twenties. I ask, and I get.
What do you want? Money? A new job? A relationship? Whatever it is you want, there is someone out there who has it … and they are willing to give it to you if you ask for it. Don’t misunderstand me; by the time you ask, you must have already proven yourself. On the street, you have managed to stop them, you have given your show in a skillful and entertaining manner, and then you ask for their money. You have earned it. It’s the same way where you are. You earn your right to be heard, and then you ask for what you want.
There are people who have the things they want. The difference between them and you? While you were busy whining, beating yourself up, resenting them for having it and pretending like you didn’t want it, they asked. While you were busy getting frustrated, giving up on yourself, making excuses and blaming others for your place in this world, they asked. While you were busy settling for second best, looking for the easy way out, finding fault and feeling bad for yourself, they asked. You didn’t. Yes, while I’m busy pointing fingers at you, I currently have three pointing back at me. I’m guilty of all of those things, but I’m overcoming.
Look at the people who have what you want. How did they get there? Learn from those who came before you. Study them. Ask them questions. Figure out the road they took. ASK. If you came to my house for dinner and I served you a killer dish of ribs and roasted barbeque and you would like to serve that to your own guests sometime, what do you do? Do you haphazardly buy ingredients and make an attempt at the same thing … or do you simply ask for my recipe? Once you have the instructions it is still up to you to follow them and put in the work, but you’ve just cut your learning curve, and all you had to do was ask.
The street taught me this: I must listen more than I speak. I must be a lifelong student. I must be forever asking questions and seeking answers. I do this, and I will not stop. After all: why stop there?
As Mick & Keith say … sometimes the answer will just be “no” or “not now”. These are not reasons to give up. You can’t always get what you want, but you won’t get what you don’t ask for.
Sometimes you just need to ask: Ask for the job, ask for the money, ask for help, ask for a better deal, ask for a second chance, ask for her hand in marriage. Just ask. You’ll be surprised. Sometimes, there is someone out there just waiting for you to ask.
“If you try, sometimes you get what you need.”
Why Stop There? 